When Did You Choose To Be Heterosexual?

Think that question is ridiculous?

noh8If I hear the term “gay lifestyle” one more time, I am going to scream. I’d say that I’d pull the hair out of my head, but… This issue should be a no-brainer. After all, it takes only a couple clicks on Google to get good, solid, and reliable information about the LGBT community, the latest science available on human sexuality, and a plethora of other information that ought to allow for an informed understanding.

The problem is that many of those who maintain their belief that homosexuality is a lifestyle are generally not real keen on all that sciency stuff, and much of the time their information on human sexuality comes from misinformed or willfully ignorant people who raised them, what they learned in the schoolyard back “in the day,” or what is vomited forth by the leaders of their religions and the heads of their houses of worship.

For the umpteenth thousandth time, being gay is not a ‘lifestyle,’ inasmuch much as being black, Hispanic, Asian, short, tall, etc., is not. Next time you feel that righteous obligation to ask a member of the LGBT community when they “decided to become gay,” go ahead and ask yourself when you “decided to become heterosexual.” Try to remember at what point in your life you looked at a boy and a girl, and felt you had to make a choice about which one you would be attracted to?

Then ask yourself if you really, truly, honestly even know what the word “lifestyle” actually means. Because if you do, and you still believe that being gay falls within the confines of the definition, then you not merely misinformed, but are part of the willful ignorance problem that seems to be permeating our society. So, if you are not sure, here’s the definition:


I will not address all the other ridiculous arguments “against” homosexuality for two reasons. One, the subject at hand is the “lifestyle” issue; Two, I am sure you don’t want to read a 150,000 word article.

Being turned off by the thought of intimacy between a same-sex couple, or that homosexuals are somehow “abnormal” or an “abomination” is not natural behavior. It is learned, regardless if it is taught by parents/guardians, religious doctrine, societal norms, etc. The indoctrination against the LGBT community starts early, and it is perpetuated in spite of what the facts are, for a variety of reasons I won’t go into here.

The belief that being gay is somehow a choice is at the genesis of the bigotry, hatred, and discrimination that many members of the LGBT community must endure every day of their lives. I state it is at the genesis because a good chunk of the bigotry would not be present if it were universally understood that same-sex relationships are just as valid and normal as opposite-sex relationships, and that the only thing that separates the hetero and homo are who they are oriented to be intimate with.

Period. End of story.

You have two choices. You can either realize that you’ve been wrong in your beliefs about the LGBT community, change your ways, turn over a new leaf, and stop being a bigot. Or, you can continue in your beliefs and wallow in willful ignorance, and continue to be part of the problem, refusing to admit that what you were told by those who raised you, and/or what your religious leaders have taught you, is patently wrong, dangerous, and outright cruel.

The term ‘gay lifestyle’ is not only outdated, but it is insulting and an improper use of the word ‘lifestyle.’

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