The GOP Rape Chronicles

NoRespectIt seems that God’s Own Party has decided to bless us with a healthy dose of batshittery lately with regard to the subject of rape. While rape is no joke, these clowns sure as shit are.

I am beginning to think that there’s an atheist troll somewhere really high up in the Republican Party, someone who has the power to use Jedi Mind Tricks whenever a camera appears before the mouth of one of these people. Truly, you can’t make this shit up. I kinda feel sorry for their brain cells, though. Imagine how frightening it must be in there, roaming around all that space, in the dark, with almost no others to talk to.

Congealed Batshittery…

We all know, by now, about Todd Akin’s (R-MO) comments to a local television station last Sunday that “legitimate rape” rarely produces pregnancy because “the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” ThinkProgress broke the story on Sunday:

“Senate Candidate and Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) told a local television station on Sunday that “legitimate rape” rarely produces pregnancy because “the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” Akin cited conversations with unnamed doctors for the bizarre claim.”

Here’s the original video. Watch it:

Akin was almost immediately challenged by doctors regarding rape and pregnancy. Among other statistics, an ABC News story cites:

The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) reports someone in the United States is sexually assaulted every two minutes, and on average there are 207,754 victims (age 12 or older) of sexual assault every year.

How many become pregnant?  A 1996 study in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology (ACOG) reported that “among adult women an estimated 32,101 pregnancies result from rape each year.”  This study said the rate of becoming pregnant after sexual assault is considerable, estimating that “the national rape-pregnancy rate is 5.0 percent per rape among victims of reproductive age (aged 12 to 45).”

In response to Akin’s comments, ACOG released a statement on Monday: “Each year in the U.S., 10,000-15,000 abortions occur among women whose pregnancies are a result of reported rape or incest.”

The statement said this is a fraction of the total number of rape-pregnancies, given that “an unknown number of pregnancies resulting from rape are carried to term.”

Then Akin’s friends started to chime in, and if you think this couldn’t have gotten worse, here’s what has transpired since then. Mind you, it’s only been a couple of days, more or less.

From the GOP and related buffoonery:


AkinAkin Clarifies ‘Legitimate Rape’ Comments: Women Make ‘False Claims’ About Being Raped

From ThinkProgress – Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) announced that he will continue with his race for the U.S. Senate, during an appearance on the Mike Huckabee radio show Tuesday afternoon, and clarified his claims that women who face “legitimate rape” cannot become pregnant. Arguing that he misplaced the word “legitimate,” Akin explained — during a follow-up interview with Dana Loesch — that he meant to argue that women sometimes lie about being raped:

“You know, Dr. Willke has just released a statement and part of his letter, I think he just stated it very clearly. He said, of course Akin never used the word legitimate to refer to the rapist, but to false claims like those made in Roe v. Wade and I think that simplifies it….. There isn’t any legitimate rapist….[I was] making the point that there were people who use false claims, like those that basically created Roe v. Wade.”


But Wait, There’s More..!

KingRep. Steve King: I’ve Never Heard Of A Girl Getting Pregnant From Statutory Rape Or Incest

From Talking Points Memo – Rep. Steve King, one of the most staunchly conservative members of the House, was one of the few Republicans who did not strongly condemn Rep. Todd Akin Monday for his remarks regarding pregnancy and rape.

King also signaled why — he might agree with parts of Akin’s assertion.

King told an Iowa reporter he’s never heard of a child getting pregnant from statutory rape or incest. “Well I just haven’t heard of that being a circumstance that’s been brought to me in any personal way,” King told KMEG-TV Monday, “and I’d be open to discussion about that subject matter.”


Wait, There’s Yet MORE…!


Huckabee87Mike Huckabee Would Like to Remind You That Rape Has Created Some Extraordinary People

You didn’t think Mike Huckabee could resist from commenting on this, did you? Of course not, and the folks at Gawker were kind enough to let us in on his particular vein of batshittery. From the site:

This is what Mike Huckabee wanted to know today, on his radio program, which also featured Rep. Todd “Legitimate Rape” Akin as a guest.

“For instance, did you know that Ethel Waters was conceived when her mother got raped? Do you know what a world without rape would look like? A world without Ethel Waters, that’s what.”

This is what Mike Huckabee said today, as transcribed by the Los Angeles Times‘ James Rainey, about the upside of being raped and then getting pregnant:

“Ethel Waters, for example, was the result of a forcible rape,” Huckabee said of the late American gospel singer. One-time presidential candidate Huckabee added: “I used to work for James Robison back in the 1970s, he leads a large Christian organization. He, himself, was the result of a forcible rape. And so I know it happens, and yet even from those horrible, horrible tragedies of rape, which are inexcusable and indefensible, life has come and sometimes, you know, those people are able to do extraordinary things.”


Done? Nope, There’s MORE..!

Missouri Republican official: ‘God chose to bless’ women with pregnancies from rape

BarnesFrom The Raw Story – An official from Missouri’s Republican Party on Monday defended Senate candidate Todd Akin after he suggested abortions should not be allowed in any case because victims of “legitimate” rape victims could not get pregnant.

GOP 4th Senate District Committeewoman Sharon Barnes told The New York Times “that abortion is never an option.”

In an interview with KTVI-TV over the weekend, Barnes echoed Mr. Akin’s statement that very few rapes resulted in pregnancy. According to the Times, and she added that “at that point, if God has chosen to bless this person with a life, you don’t kill it.


Finally, A Bonus Track…

I would be remiss if I didn’t remind you all of Idaho state Sen. Chuck Winder’s comments this past March about rape back in March. I know, I know, not part of this issue, per se, but another wonderful indication of the general line of thinking these douchenozzles have.

WinderChuck Winder, Idaho Lawmaker, Suggests Women Use Rape As Excuse For Abortions

From The Huffington Post – The sponsor of an Idaho mandatory ultrasound bill, state Sen. Chuck Winder, made some highly controversial comments Monday during his closing arguments, suggesting women might falsely use rape as an excuse to obtain an abortion.

Just before the Idaho’s Senate passed the bill, which requires woman to have an ultrasound prior to obtaining an abortion, opponents of the bill pointed out that it makes no exception for rape victims, incest victims or women in medical emergencies.

Winder, a Republican from Boise, responded to those concerns by raising the question of whether women understand when they have been raped.

“Rape and incest was used as a reason to oppose this,” Winder said on the Senate floor. “I would hope that when a woman goes in to a physician with a rape issue, that physician will indeed ask her about perhaps her marriage, was this pregnancy caused by normal relations in a marriage or was it truly caused by a rape. I assume that’s part of the counseling that goes on.”

Women reported 84,767 “forcible rapes” in the United States in 2010, according to the FBI’s most recent Uniform Crime Report; the figure does not include statutory rape, incest or any other kind of rape that falls outside the FBI’s narrow definition of the crime.

Brian Fischer…

If you don’t know who Brian Fischer is, you should. Mojoey from “Deep Thoughts” explains him pretty accurately:

“Bryan Fisher is the Director of Issues Analysis for the American Family Association . His title sounds important and implies some deep knowledge on complex issues, but his positions are simple. He is a bigot and the hate that spews from his mouth is focused on our gay community. It’s hard to understand how any person educated at Stanford could issue these hate fill rants, but he manages to do so on a regular basis.

He supports some odd positions, the worst is his support for the AIDS denial movement . A group which supports a view that rejects the existence of HIV and denies that HIV is the cause of AIDS. Supporting this position should be enough to have him blacklisted as a nutball, but no, he enjoys a wide audience through a radio program he hosts called Focal Point and a blog called Rightly Concerned. Fisher is also responsible for a gay witch hunt that resulted in the resignation of Richard Grenell from Mitt Romney’s campain. A low point in our 2012 election cycle.

Fisher is an anti-gay activist who believes being gay is a choice. His normal targets are gay couples who adopt children. This quote sums him up. “A rational culture that cares about its people will, in fact, discriminate against adultery, pedophilia, rape, bestiality, and yes, homosexual behavior.” He wants to inject this viewpoint into the Republican Party. Fisher is a dangerous man.”

Here’s some of his drek regarding this issue:

Fischer: Akin is “Absolutely Right” about Rape


“It Really All Stands To Reason” (Few Women Get Pregnant From Rape)


Fischer: Akin is Like a Victim of Rape


Fischer: Media Treating Akin Like Pharisees Treated Jesus exclusive.


Speaking Of Douchebags…

Kirk Cameron apparently couldn’t resist poking is Pinocchio nose into the issue. As you can imagine, he totally supports Akin. Here’s a video of his commentary:

Good News…?

Yes, out of the flaming ashes, there rises a Phoenix. If there is anything that can be said to be “good news” to come out of this debacle, the damage it is doing and will undoubtedly continue to do to the Republican Party. Reports are coming in all over about the exodus of women voters. Hell, they already lost a huge chunk of the elderly vote, what with their stance on Medicare.

AkinthumbsupTodd Akin’s ‘Legitimate Rape’ Timing Couldn’t Be Worse for Republicans

From “The Beast” – The Akin fiasco could not have been more poorly timed for Republicans. At exactly the time voters are looking seriously at the Republican ticket, and the ticket wants to send a message of tolerance, diversity, and inclusion, Akin says: “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.

Boom. Akin’s stunning ignorance is the political equivalent of the GOP riding over an IED. And the shrapnel is shredding everyone. So now we can expect days of discussion about Republicans and abortion, and a heightened focus on the platform language that was drafted Monday:

“Faithful to the ‘self-evident’ truths enshrined in the Declaration of Independence, we assert the sanctity of human life and affirm that the unborn child has a fundamental individual right to life which cannot be infringed. We support a human life amendment to the Constitution and endorse legislation to make clear that the Fourteenth Amendment’s protections apply to unborn children.”

That means no exceptions. Not rape. Not incest. Not the life of the mother. The head of the platform committee is Gov. Bob McDonnell, who attracted national attention when the Virginia legislature considered legislation making ultrasounds mandatory for any woman seeking an abortion.

From The Social Networks

As was expected, the social networks exploded. Some of the best commentaries were in the form of pictures and images. I figured I’d share a few with you. I gave credit where I could find it. Sometimes it was on the photo. When not, the person who posted it.

From the Dating Fails website:



From the Democratic Underground website:

Democratic Underground


From WA2012



I have no idea who made this. If you do, put it in the comments.




I have no idea who made this. If you do, put it in the comments



From The Avenging Uterus’ Twitter account



From M. Wuerker Politico



Imagine what the rest of the week will bring us…

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  18 comments for “The GOP Rape Chronicles

  1. grumpyoldfart
    August 22, 2012 at 11:57 am

    Reports are coming in all over about the exodus of women voters. Hell, they already lost a huge chunk of the elderly vote, what with their stance on Medicare.

    When it comes to the crunch, they’ll return to the fold and vote Republican.

  2. mildlymagnificent
    August 22, 2012 at 12:31 pm

    Most of the rusted on voters might come back and vote the same way they always intended to.

    Akin, and all the others, must really fear all those don’t-normally-bother, don’t-usually-care, no-preference occasional voters who are now getting stirred up enough to come out and vote _against_ them. And many of them will get the urge because of all those election workers who now feel galvanised to get that opposing vote out who put in those few extra hours, those few extra doors knocked on. It’s those newly energised Democrats Akin has most to fear from.

    (Coming from a compulsory voting country it’s all a bit strange to me, but I do understand that little-bit-extra motivation for party workers.)

  3. August 22, 2012 at 12:52 pm

    According to RAINN, there are an average of 207,754 (a misleadingly precise number) sexual assaults annually. According to ACOG, there are an average of 32,101 (again, a misleadingly precise number) pregnancies resulting from rapes. These numbers, if correct, work out to about 15% of rapes resulting in pregnancy. I can’t find a number for the conception frequency from consensual sexual intercourse, but it would have to be something on the order of 15% (perhaps even less) when averaged over the age group 12-45. Thus, the conception frequency for sexual assault is just about the same as for consensual sex. The math doesn’t lie, or distort, unlike the GOP morons who actually believe in this bullshit.

    The willful ignorance of the GOP regarding this topic, in their self-righteous drive to impose a religion-motived ban on abortions via public law is so astonishing, it beggars belief! If women vote for GOP candidates in this election, they should have their heads examined!

    • lordshipmayhem
      August 22, 2012 at 1:32 pm

      According to Babymed, the typical couple has a 15-20% chance of conception each ovulatory cycle. As rape isn’t about trying to get the female pregnant (it’s about establishing power, control and dominance over the victim) and therefore the rapist isn’t paying attention to her ovulatory cycle, the rate should be less. As we’d expect, the Pandora Project is reporting conception through rape at somewhere between 1% to 5%.

      • August 23, 2012 at 1:14 am

        If we account for unreported sexual assault cases, the percentage of pregnancies probably decreases to 5% or even less, but given the numbers, the math can’t be disputed. Whatever the intentions of rape might be, the chances of conception resulting from that act are not dependent on the intentions.

      • dpg
        August 26, 2012 at 1:54 pm

        Not clear how you shift the concept of CONSENT to the organism in the equation that is capable of reproduction 100% of the time, and just completely ignore that the second party might have had any other means or choice that could have otherwise influenced that outcome, oh say like… NOT GETTING RAPED that day. You may as well compare pregnancy statistics between 24 year old women and a `72 Buick, as it’s equally absurd. It’s not even logical that one would even compare the numbers as if they were relevant. And hey, if it’s not about the sex (btw, rape is certainly NOT) and you’re talking purely about a biological event, then seriously compare it to the rates for successful pregnancies from fertility clinics- let’s not include the women who really WANTED to get pregnant. True, it wouldn’t be relevant in any way. However, it might help illustrate out how ridiculous the comparison of these statistics are.

  4. hexidecima
    August 22, 2012 at 2:12 pm

    ah, all of the pious prating about the “children”, when these GOP hypocrites want to cut everything that children need. No help for unwed mothers (hmmm, does this mean that they expect the women to be forced to marry their rapists like in the good ol’ Bible?), no education system to teach these children, no help with food, etc, etc. Again, they reveal they aren’t interested in children, they are only interested in control.

  5. Art
    August 22, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    You have to admire the sheer brazen gall and rectal creativity expressed in the GOP’s ability to postulate, out of thin air and unprompted by evidence, an entire biological mechanism that purportedly prevents raped women from getting pregnant.

    Oh, it is such a sweet and shiny meme. It simultaneously solves their problem with good women raped and pregnant and what to do about the bad situation by postulating that such a thing never happens. According to this poisonous bit of meme creation a pregnant woman claiming to have been raped is obviously lying because raped women don’t get pregnant. This is quite a relief for theocrats and antiabortionists whose consciences were beginning to feel unsettled.

    I wonder how long it will be before this story will be used by a rapist to try to avoid a rape charge. They can claim that if the woman gets pregnant it wasn’t a rape. Sad to say but I really can picture a jury in a Bible-thumping community buying that story. In so many ways we are a medieval culture.

    • comfychair
      August 22, 2012 at 11:54 pm

      They can claim that if the woman gets pregnant it wasn’t a rape.

      Maybe just a little clarification on that; what they are saying is that even if it was a “legitimate/forcible rape” (fuck’s sake, that’s hard to type, even with the quotation marks), if the victim gets pregnant, that’s proof that she enjoyed it, and so it’s no longer considered a “legitimate rape”. Fuck.

      Somebody remind me again, just why do they freak out so over the impending doooom(!!!!!!111one) of ‘creeping sharia’, since it seems they wholeheartedly endorse virtually all its tenets? What’s that? Oh, right. It’s claimed to have come from the wrong deity. Right.

      • Corvus illustris
        August 24, 2012 at 4:34 pm

        In so many ways we are a medieval culture.

        Middle ages libel! They had no Bibles to thump, and a fetus was not considered human before it was “formed.” You have to go back to the OT Bronze age for the conceptual foundations of this stuff

        • Art
          August 25, 2012 at 2:25 pm

          My deepest apologies to the good people of the Middle Ages. They may have been malnourished, frequently unwashed, and poorly informed but they where not, for the most part, as deranged and dangerous as the fundamentalists of today.

          • Corvus illustris
            August 25, 2012 at 4:03 pm

            I shall convey your apologies to the people of the middle ages the next time I visit my dear old alma mater, where it was AD 1275 only 50 or 60 years ago.

      • Art
        August 25, 2012 at 2:17 pm

        There have been times when Christians and Muslims found it advantageous to get along and concentrate on their many commonalities. Grossly abusive misogyny, use of a hypothetical afterlife to justify violence and torture, strict authoritarianism, and quick establishment of a codependent royal and priest castes that rule and are above the law are all traits they have in common.

        The good news is that their names for their preferred deity, their symbology, and willingness to depict living things, among other issues, differ and, thankfully, keep them apart. It would be bad, very bad, if they were to unite and set their minds to taking over. When the Dominionists and Califatists unite the end is near.

        On the positive side the fact that they have so much in common implies, based on historical group dynamics and psychology, that any differences will prove to be both nagging and annoying. To the point that neither side can easily resist attacking the other and that any disagreement will tend to become rapidly inflamed, become deeply rooted, personal, passionate and vicious. usually with both sides claiming to be ‘defending’ themselves and ‘justified’.

  6. Bachalon
    August 22, 2012 at 11:55 pm

    In answer to the rapist’s question: yes, apparently 31 states allow rapists custody rights to the children they fathered.

  7. Christoph Burschka
    August 24, 2012 at 6:31 am

    For instance, did you know that Ethel Waters was conceived when her mother got raped? Do you know what a world without rape would look like? A world without Ethel Waters, that’s what.

  8. tle
    August 24, 2012 at 9:24 am

    Ethel Waters? Paul Robison? How about JC, the all-time number one suber-celeb homeboy/co-pilot/lord & savior? Was he a product of legitimate or illegitimate rape?

    I can shake my head at the boyz’ dumbass comments (I haven’t seen a picture of a single one of these nutwingers that doesn’t exude creep vibes), but I’m disgusted with the women like this Sharon Barnes. Her statement “at that point, if God has chosen to bless this person with a life, you don’t kill it” is grotesque. Her god, in other words, says “I’m gonna bless you with a little bundle of joy, sweetie, but it’s gonna hurt a little; just lay on back and enjoy it, hon.” Ms. Barnes is actually willing to get on her knees and give praise to this jerk? The big boy is all-powerful, and his idea of fun is letting a scumbag rape a woman and then forcing the victim to bear his child? As a woman, I’m sickened. I will never understand how ANY woman can buy into the Abrahamic religions.

  9. rickschauer
    August 26, 2012 at 1:35 pm

    Well, when you worship a god who raped Mary and then killed the son of that “union” as a sacrifice…what else would you expect from these asshats? Fukken fools…all of them!

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