All Your Vagina Are Belong To Us

“Anything may happen when womanhood has ceased to be a protected occupation.” ― Virginia Woolf

At first I thought it was just me, you know? Not that I am unaware of the religious right’s preoccupation with the vagina and women’s bodies in general. Kraken knows I’ve written enough about it. But the rhetoric has gotten uber-rediculous lately, even for an election year. Looking back over the last eighteen months or so, though, I can almost define the turning point where this latest salvo against women started to ramp up.

Basically, the hatred, discrimination, bigotry and misogyny got a boost when all those freshman teabaggers got elected on a jobs platform. No jobs bills, but they did end up sponsoring almost 1000 bills aimed at restricting the individual women with respect to their reproductive system, with added barbs indicating their belief that any women who had sex outside of a heterosexual marriage are whores and sluts.

Her Body, His Choice…

Every day I get information on legislation that is presented for the sole purpose of men telling women what they can do with their vaginas. When to have sex, who to have sex with, why to have sex, when to have babies, who to have babies with, what to wear on their bodies, how to speak in the presence of a man, what may be inserted in their vaginas by whom and for what purpose and the contribution women make to their own rapes and sexual assaults.

The list goes on, and it is getting worse. There seems to be no end to the lengths at which rich, white (mostly), Republican, fundamental Christian men will go to continue their efforts to subjugate women in the United States. What these men are doing is tantamount to legislative rape.

The Devil In The Details…

Just consider the utter lunacy and contemptibility these people are exhibiting every time they put forth their opinions or sponsor legislation on fetal personhood, the ridiculous notion that abortion is equivalent to murder, the removal of funding that provides healthcare for women that includes exams for the early detection of breast cancer or cervical cancer and the plethora of other bits of fucking idiocy that serve only to keep women “in their place;” barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen.

Most recently, as an example, is the legislation pending in Virginia that would allow the state to forcibly rape a women in order for her to qualify for abortion – with the added bonus of a local legislator stating that the woman has already given permission to be probed by virtue of her becoming pregnant in the first place.


The way that the religious right treats women in horrible and they should be duly ashamed of themselves. But they aren’t, because they are immoral and unethical. They are cold, uncaring and delusional people who have no concept of anything even remotely connected to compassion.

I am so sick and tired of reading about these douchenozzles, and even sicker and more tired of hearing it come from the men who would, if given the chance, occupy the Oval Office as the representative of the American (US) citizenry. These people don’t deserve to lead a kennel of dogs, let alone a nation. In fact, that would be an insult to dogs.

The same disdain and contempt I have for the current crop of GOP Presidential candidates is also directed toward those who hold state and public offices, as well as anyone else who is in the position to regulate or influence the behavior of women.

Don’t Go Way Mad…

Just go away. To those who make it their life’s work to infringe on the rights of women, not only in the arena of reproduction, but in the areas of equality in the sexual, economic and social arenas, I hereby invite you to summarily fuck yourselves. Your bigoted and discriminatory ideologies, meddlesome religious immaturity and outright disdain and hatred of women is made clear every time you open your mouths and vomit your words out into the air.

I have no respect for you. Not because I am an atheist, but because you don’t deserve it. You are collectively nothing but a piece of shit hanging off the hair that is attached to a mosquito that is attached to the asshole of humanity.


Note: For those who are wondering, the title of this post is a take-off on “All Your Base Are Belong To Us,” explained here.

  15 comments for “All Your Vagina Are Belong To Us

  1. Kat
    February 17, 2012 at 3:44 pm


    I can’t believe we’re really living in the 21st century. Or am I in the Twilight Zone??

  2. Happiestsadist
    February 17, 2012 at 4:26 pm

    It’s not really “tantamount to legislative rape”. The revised criminal definition of rape is “the penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object,”. It is 100% rape as it is legally defined. Which the state is now forcing women to suffer in order to get a legal medical procedure.

    • R Johnston
      February 17, 2012 at 5:49 pm

      Even under the laws of Virginia it’s treated exactly the same as rape, albeit under a separate statute.

      In the civilized world the government using rape as a tool for social control is what’s known as a crime against humanity, and on the list of crimes against humanity that don’t involve mass murder it ranks pretty fucking high. Any government that engages in such behavior is ipro facto irredeemably illegitimate.

  3. February 17, 2012 at 4:30 pm

    At times I have felt like screaming at the clouds about the insanity that poses as religious legislative intrusion to our lives. I don’t because like the clouds, the religiously afflicted won’t listen either. Thanks for venting for me. I feel much better now after reading this.

  4. carolw
    February 17, 2012 at 4:51 pm

    It’s not just “any women who had sex outside of a heterosexual marriage.” Even if you’re in a wingnut-approved one man-one woman marriage but don’t want to have a Duggar-load of kids, you’re fucked. In the bad way. I’m mad as hell about this shit, too. Invasive sonograms suck like hell.

  5. Lisa
    February 17, 2012 at 5:32 pm

    Now Al, don’t sugar-coat it…tell us how you really feel. Hahahaha. DUDE, YOU ARE MY HERO. thank you… would that more men spoke up in solidarity with women on this…so many right-wing trolls out there.

  6. February 17, 2012 at 6:44 pm
  7. February 17, 2012 at 6:44 pm

    Well said!

  8. bybelknap
    February 17, 2012 at 10:33 pm

    Yep, that shit enrages me too. Every time one of these fuckhead misogynist douchenozzles (I love that word – they fit it completely – they are unnecessary and potentially dangerous, just like actual douches) presents one of these ass-backwards as fuck Desert God bills infringing the rights of women someone should introduce the “Viagra Amendment.” Anyone with an ED prescription MUST have his prostate examined, and the results (stripped of “identifying information” of course) published on a web site. They must also have spousal consent forms and in the absence of a legal spouse must have a Judge’s order in order to obtain the drug. Also, there must be “conscience clause” legislation which will allow concerned pharmacists and others the right to deny filling ED prescriptions if they believe that the man getting the drug is just going to use it to go whoring around like some boner marauder. There must also be a waiting period of 48 hours before the prescription can be filled. Crossing state lines to get the scrip filled will be a felony punishable by minimum mandatory sentences of 5 to 15 years. There will be only 2 pharmacies per state able to fill the prescriptions, and only on alternate Tuesdays unless it is an Odd numbered date. Oh, and any doctor willing to write a prescription, or pharmacist willing to fill it will be under a constant barrage of death threats and smear tactics and should live in fear.

    Sounds fair. Sauce for the goose and all that shit.

    • Sophia Dodds
      February 17, 2012 at 10:55 pm

      HEAR HEAR!

      Also, ‘like some boner marauder’ had me in stitches XD

      “Sorry sir, but I will not fill your viagra prescription. You say it’s for a heart condition, but my personal belief is that you’re just a lavicious, wanton rapist. People like you sicken me.”

    • jenniferphillips
      February 18, 2012 at 2:29 pm

      someone should introduce the “Viagra Amendment.” Anyone with an ED prescription MUST have his prostate examined…

      Somebody did try this recently. The Rethugs vetoed it. But I so appreciate the effort!

  9. jenniferphillips
    February 18, 2012 at 2:25 pm

    Thanks for this, Al. Given that the loudest voices in all the women’s health (and basic civil liberty) discussions lately seem to emanate from MEN, it is great to hear men like you say plainly that these proposals are unacceptable. Thanks for having our backs.

  10. February 18, 2012 at 10:51 pm

    Bybelknap, that was completely awesome. “Boner marauder” is the best new phrase I’ve heard in a while!! Ranks right up there with douchenozzle!!

  11. bybelknap
    February 19, 2012 at 1:07 am

    It seems I am at my best when I am most annoyed.

    And jenniferphillips you are correct, I can’t claim the Viagra Amendment as my own idea. But it is a great one, and I do think that every effort to stymie abortion should be met with the Viagra Amendment. There must be at least one progressive minded person in every state legislature willing to step up to the plate and add it to the repressive bullshit spewing from the right.

    Just like every effort to demonize the poor with drug tests for welfare should be met with piss tests for legislators and bureaucrats who propose such laws, and any “academic freedom” law should include the requirement to teach Hindu, Australian Aboriginal, Native American and Flying Spaghetti Monster creation myths as well as the Xtian one if they want to subvert evolution education, and gravity should be given equal time with intelligent falling theory, and circling back to the whole getting pregnant thing basic fertility biology should be balanced with the Stork and Cabbage Patch theories of baby making.

    Goddammit those fuckers really piss me off.

  12. firefly
    February 19, 2012 at 4:36 pm

    I am so angry about all this I am not even capable of expressing what I think anymore. How the fuck has this been allowed to happen in this country in 2012?!???! How is it allowed that those religious fundamentalists get to force their ridiculous ideas about sexuality on everyone else??

    Someone please tell me this is going to be fought in the courts…

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