Boobs and Bud: Legislating Morality

Here in these United States there lies an obsession with pleasure.  And not the good kind, either.   I blame Christianity, and rightfully so.   Do you know what the textbook definition for insanity is?  Allow me to enlighten you…  Insanity is repeating the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result every time.   Such is the case with their consistent and extremely wasteful campaign to legislate morality.    Hey, Christian, if you don’t want to engage in certain activities, then that is your choice.  But forcing your archaic and draconian beliefs onto the rest of us violates our rights, and laws that serve no purpose except to waste tax-payers dollars and give yourselves a sense of moral superiority.  It behooves me that a portion of the money that goes to the tax coffers is being used in such irresponsible ways when there are much more important problems that need our attention.

Let’s start with the Adult Entertainment Industry.  Particularly, strip clubs.  I bring this up because these establishments contain naked humans who are behaving in such a way to bring about the sexual arousal of other humans for fun and profit.  Christians, you have some severe problems when it comes to the naked body.  Sexual organs seem to scare you.  Do you have nightmares of being chased down by giant penises, being suffocated by huge breasts or being trapped in a giant vagina?   Nudity in general seems to cause you people to go into apoplectic shock, and the thought of a nudity being used for the purposes of arousing another human being positively paralyzes you.  It’s freaking ridiculous.  I know why, though.  It is tied into your unnatural obsession with sex and your unceasing efforts to keep nudity away from the eyes of everyone, except between married couples of the opposite sex under stringent circumstances.  Some of you try to be “progressive” and state that “everything goes” between Christian married couples, but that argument falls apart quite easily when you consider the almost endless possibilities connected to sexual gratification.  The fact is, you people do not want anyone having any fun with anything even remotely sexual,  regardless if it has anything to do with you at all.  Don’t even get me started on the utterly ridiculous notion that certain activities will lead to pedophilia or sexual slavery or rape.  You seem to be completely ignorant of the fact that those are crimes of violence that are manifested by people who are mentally ill and have little to do with what their victims are wearing or not wearing.

Hence the countless protests against the existence of strip clubs and the regulations that surround their operation. And there are a lot of regulations. Some of them are sensible, but most of them are just plain stupid.  In some places, only non-alcoholic beverages can be served.  In some places, there are time limits on how long a performer can be nude or partially nude.  In some places, breasts apparently pose less of a threat than vaginas, because “topless only” regulations are in place.  All of these regulations are strictly enforced and an enormous cost to the taxpayer, and it is just plain dumb.  In North Carolina this week, an adult entertainment establishment was raided and multiple arrests were made because of alleged violations against their “topless only” regulation.  The money that was spent on the preparation and operation of this sting is bad enough, but the legal costs to the county, city and individuals involved is stupendous.  The money that churches spend on protests outside of perfectly legal businesses can feed an army of starving children.

My question is this.  If a consenting adult wishes to spend money to watch another consenting adult take their clothes off in an venue that has been established by other consenting adults specifically for the purpose of making money from the activity, then what business is it of anyone else?  Answer:  None.  But the prudish members of the church can’t keep their noses out of it, because they feel the need to push their twisted sense of morality on the rest of us who have no problem with existence of strip clubs, strippers or even prostitution, for that matter.  Legislating morality is a waste of money, a fruitless endeavor that is about as effective as pissing in a hurricane.

Now, there are some regulations that I can agree with.  Keeping strip clubs zoned in areas where there are no schools or daycare centers is sensible.   An illegal business, meaning one not operating with a license or paying taxes on their revenue, be it a strip club or any other business, should remain punishable.   Keeping the windows opaque so that anyone who is offended cannot see inside (as well as anyone who is not offended getting a free ride) is acceptable.   However, don’t ruin it for everyone and quit spending my money on shit that that hurts nobody.  The people of North Carolina should be angry that their hard earned money was spent on a raid of a legitimate business because a stripper took too many clothes off.  Be real, people.  If the activity offends you, then just stay the hell out of strip clubs.  Really, it is that simple.  Don’t tell the rest of us what to do.  Don’t be pretentious and think that you have a right to tell a tax paying, law abiding citizen that they cannot “handle” seeing both tits AND ass, or either one without having a couple of drinks in the process. You are not the boss of us and, frankly, we think your attitudes toward sex are laughable and your efforts to legislate your beliefs into our laws are really starting to piss us off.


The war on marijuana.  Just another attempt by the religious to control their version of moral behavior.  How freaking stupid is this?  It’s a goddamned plant.  Technically, it’s a weed.  Making marijuana illegal and the costs associated with the war on this harmless drug have totally failed to control use and production.  The myths that surround pot have been fabricated and are being perpetuated by the religious right for much the same reason that strip clubs are.  They want to control us because suffering and self-sacrifice is part and parcel to their faith.  They don’t want us to see naked bodies and they don’t want us to alter our consciousness.   Period.

It doesn’t matter that the war on pot is wasting hundreds of million sof taxpayer dollars. It has been seventy-five years since the government, spurred on by the same people who were responsible for prohibition, began it’s quest to prevent the use of pot. Still,  an estimated twenty-five million people still use it, and it is one of the largest un-taxed cash crops in the country. Successful prohibition and elimination of pot is a quixotic fantasy.

A regulated, legal pot market would boost our economy not only by adding to the tax base, but money that is now being funneled to foreign growers and suppliers would remain here in the United States for productive economic development, including the revitalization of our cash-strapped farming industry. Replacing prohibition with a system of taxation and regulation would save almost $8 billion per year in state and federal expenditures on prohibition enforcement. It could also produce tax revenues close to $6.2 billion per year.  It’s logical and reasonable, but those are two character traits that seem to be absent with many believers.

The documentation available that shows how the prohibition of marijuana began with misinformation and outright lies is available to anyone who knows how to use a search engine. Continuing to justify it requires jumping through hoops of distortions. The dangers have been exaggerated for almost one hundred years and after all that time, there exists almost no modern scientific data to support the some of the predictions that were made in the past about marijuana causing mental illness or addiction.  The movie “Reefer Madness” is pretty much a comedy these days.  Like alcohol, marijuana should remain prohibited for children.  However, use by adults has demonstrated that it can used moderately with much less harmful impacts to the individual or society than alcohol, because it is not a lethal drug. It is not toxic to humans and it is nearly impossible to overdose on.  The Christian Temperance Movement to prohibit alcohol was a miserable failure and was quickly remanded, but their efforts with marijuana have endured.  We need to disregard the lies being told by the religious zealots who strive to be little more than kill-joys and repeal the laws against marijuana, a naturally growing plant that requires nothing to produce and has also been proven to be beneficial to many medical conditions.  Medical use of marijuana is legal in fourteen states and a dozen more have similar bills pending.

The fact is that the money spent on enforcing some of the self-righteous morality laws that regulate the adult entertainment industry and the utterly ridiculous war on pot is is crippling private enterprise and costing our cities, states and our country money that we cannot afford to waste on diverting the time of police, attorneys, judges, and corrections officials away from violent crime, the abuse of children and acts of terrorism.

How about all of you fundamentalists leave us the hell alone.  We don’t want you telling us what to do, where to go, who to marry, who to date, who to screw, how to get our rocks off, how to relax or how to do anything, for that matter.  Go crawl back into the sanctuary that you came out of and keep your ridiculous god out of our lives.  The world would be a better place if you’d just, frankly, go away.  We can take care of our own, and the fact that there is more crime, divorce and sexual abuse within your ranks than within the ranks of unbelievers screams loudly that you have no idea what the hell you are doing.

“No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women, no fun, no sin, no you no wonder it’s dark” – The Vapors


Visit The United Atheist Front on Facebook, Twitter and the Web

  5 comments for “Boobs and Bud: Legislating Morality

  1. cameron davis
    June 18, 2010 at 12:53 pm

    I agree with almost everything you said, Al. It seems extremely foolish financial planning to ban via policy any decision of personal liberty. Legalize, Tax, Financially Regulate…that’s the key to balancing budgets.
    as a personal confession, i think i’ve been to strip clubs 2 times in my entire life. But you know what stopped me from going back again? the music! it was waaay too loud, i could barely order a beer! I should go back next time with ear plugs 😀

    as for the marijuana incident, I also think it is an obnoxious law. There are far too many useful properties to exclude such a harmless thing.

    • June 18, 2010 at 1:00 pm

      The last time I was in a strip club was my bachelor party a couple decades ago. I can’t afford a twenty-dollar coca cola or a thirty-dollar beer, and if you’ve ever seen my wife, you’d understand that there’s really no point. However, this does not abrogate the rights of anyone else who wants to patronize one.

      • cameron davis
        June 18, 2010 at 1:40 pm

        i love the loving boost to your wife there, Al. That was sweet, witty, and to the point.
        I get angry, also, when people start turning their own personal opinions into law. We in america live in a Democratic Republic, a pretty good one with some serious flaws, and as such our representatives need to represent the people as well as the policies they campaigned with.
        It’s like when you’re in the service, and given two difficult orders, that – based on intuition alone – might lead one to believe they’re incompatible – in capable of integration. The scientific method will allow humanity to integrate new and old, within their minds.
        John Nash will be proven a super-genius when it comes to establishing dynamic social equilibrium via IT. New rules must be incorporated into old rules, otherwise we end up ‘backing up’ before we ‘go forward’, and i know where road leads. Association( common objectives, doing what’s best for oneself AND the group) will benefit the future and the venus project in ways few can imagine while in the midst of it.

  2. J. D. Chinn
    June 18, 2010 at 1:07 pm

    Well stated and about time someone posts a rebuttal to the stupidity of those zealots of christian morality.

    By the way, the definition of a weed is-“a weed is a plant out of place”.

  3. Sandman
    June 20, 2010 at 2:39 am

    In the red corner wearing the beret and wraparound shades we have the Prince of Polemic, The Cardinal of Common Sense, Jeffersons man, Paine’s man, OUR man….heeerrrreeees AL!!!!

    In the shabby threadbare blue corner, drooling into its lap and banging its head on the cornerpost we have the liars, the hypocrites, the immoral false majority…. the USA!

    Thanks for another great morning coffee read bro.

    As a little musical interlude may I recommend a short listen to “The Irony Of It All” by The Streets… heres a link:

    Y see I spent 15 years of my life being a profesional hypocrite… a drugs intelligence analyst who used to smoke a joint to calm my nerves before making speeches at the UNDCP. So if you want to know about the phony war on drugs, and why we as states really continue the stupidity feel free to drop me a line. Im damn sure the reply you get will turn your world on its head.

    Heres a little nugget to play with, based on 2000 UNDCP stats:

    Take all the drug enforcement budgets across the globe. Stick it all in one account. Now use that fund to purchase, at source, all the worlds coke, opium and weed crops.

    You still have over two thirds of your budget left, no opium coke and weed in circulation and lots of raw materials for medicines. The real bad guys have no cash to play with, and the source farmers are happy.

    Of course, you now also have several hundred thousand redundant law enforcement officials, so called experts, lobbyists, lawyers, etc etc.

    It isnt a “war on drugs”…. its a sanctamonious shite sheen on a “jobs for the boys” scheme that has attractive fringe benifits like infringing on your basic freedoms and acting as a distraction to take your attention away from stuff like “Why dont I have free universal healthcare?”

    Lads, in a country where you can legally buy an assault rifle three years before buying a bottle of beer and its illegal to buy a dildo at all in some places I suggest you have your priorities all to tits.

    Heres a simple example. See that Mt Rushmore thing? Y do know that two of the four are criminals by your current laws? Mr J and Mr W were both big pot smokers. Read their diaries dimwits….. so how can you make pot illegal and an enemy when the blokes who set up the USA loved the stuff? Moral giants both… yet both pot smokers….


Leave a Reply